How to Beat a Bully!
By Claire Durrant, Freelancer and UX Nomad | 5 minute read
Back in March 2019…
Hold on, was it really that long ago? Well, none of 2020 counts as *actually real* so that’s only a few months back, right?
Anyway, in March 2019 I gave my first ever talk at a wonderful ‘unconference’ called UX Camp Brighton. I wrote a blog post about doing it, here. The essence of my talk was that I felt, most of the time, the work teams did on personas wasn’t useful; because they usually create vastly oversimplified stereotypes that don’t focus the design on real users at all. In fact, personas like these are actively harmful to the experience they design. I went with a provocative title to grab people’s attention: Personas Suck.
I was nervous about talking in front of people in my industry. We all have the nagging doubt, the imposter syndrome – reinforced by my never attending university and a constant worry that I’m “using the wrong words” – but the talk went down really well and a few months later I was invited back to the redux to deliver it again. The attendees had voted my talk as one of the top talks of the day! This was an amazing confidence boost to someone new on the (un)conference scene.
In June 2019 I gave my talk again, to a receptive and engaged audience. It was in the evening, so afterwards I hung around for 30 mins or so and then jumped on a train back to London. To my surprise, by the time I got on the train I had a message waiting for me from an attendee. It suggested that I should read his post about personas, that I might learn something from it. Giving him the benefit of the doubt that he was trying to be helpful, I acknowledged the message and said I’d take a look in the morning. I was on a high as I received notifications from people who’d enjoyed my talk, and as I headed home the adrenalin of the evening left my body and I dozed my way to bed.
When I unlocked my phone the next morning, I met a change in tone. A tirade on Twitter was waiting for me. The man who’d sent me his post the night prior, who apparently had over 50,000 followers (including Stephen Fry!) and was seemingly influential in the UX conference scene had launched a full-on attack against me. Over a number of tweets he attacked my talk, my expertise and experience, me generally – even likening me to an anti-vaxxer because of what I’d said about a topic he was apparently quite passionate about. He posted other tweets about people like me who found it fashionable to criticise well-known practices just to get attention.
For my sanity I didn’t keep any screenshots of what he wrote, but I remember clearly how it made me feel: the things he said were nasty. I was hurt. I still have the chat logs with my friends from that day where I described how I felt. How I’d stood by my open freezer for 10 minutes holding a box of frozen food and crying onto it because I didn’t know what to do. How I hadn’t been able to really do anything all day. This man had tens of thousands of people following his words. He founded a design agency. He runs several UX conferences. He had screwed me over. I’d probably never speak at a conference again.
I felt I needed to respond, but I gave it some time to make sure I said what I needed to. Over a series of my own tweets (not the ideal method of debate) I called out how he’d tried to professionally discredit me, how his arguments didn’t always add up, and most importantly: how instead of approaching me at either the conference OR redux to talk me as a peer and challenge my ideas, he’d arrogantly sent me his own post on the topic and typed out a tirade to his followers while I slept. If you want to see my response, it’s available here.
I’m glad I replied, and that I took some time to think about my words – because I received an unexpected outpouring of support from others in the UX community (some of which are shown above). Many people had seen his messages. Publicly and privately, people offered their support, and several confessed in private messages how he’d done the same to them, and how their confidence had never recovered. Where this man thought he was challenging ideas as some kind of saviour to the UX community, he was ruining people’s confidence, putting them off public speaking, and affecting their long-term working lives.
I got a middling apology and he deleted his original tweets. I also got a call from the conference organisers who’d heard about what had happened and wanted to make sure I was supported. And while I’m sure he hasn’t thought about this incident since, it still picks at the back of my brain every now and then, adding to that imposter syndrome we all carry. So what I really want to say is what I, and I hope you, can take away from this story…
For everyone one person railing against you, ten are supporting you (whether or not they disagree with your ideas). The design community is especially lucky; it doesn’t take much googling or Twitter-ing to see UXers and CXers supporting one another.
Just because someone has a big following or an impressive job title, it doesn’t mean they’re automatically right.
If you disagree with someone, talk to them. There is the distinct possibility, especially when it comes to working practices, that both of you may be missing important points to consider. No one has all the answers. One of the best ways to progress is to try and understand different points of view – whether or not you end up agreeing with them. Try to consider why others have come to their view to advance your own.
Think about your words, and how your actions could affect others. Don’t be the reason creativity and confidence is stifled. Support, encourage and help. We’re all in it together.
Only by sharing and learning from each other can we all improve. You’re never too senior, too experienced, or too old for that.
And guess what? I’ve signed up to speak at the next UX Camp Brighton too. I haven’t decided on a topic yet, though…
Bio Claire Durrant
Claire is a UX/CX/Service/Product Designer & Researcher (depending on who wrote the job description) with 10 years’ consulting experience.
She’s worked with a variety of clients including TfL, Land Registry and GOV.UK, Jaguar Land Rover, Electrolux, PRS for Music, and even Pottermore.
She started in UX entirely by accident, when she suggested an app while working for Bupa and wouldn’t let it go -
“Creating a business case and designs, and refusing to go away until we improved things for our customers is the attitude I enforced since I moved into UX; and the number one reason I continue to love what I do is that I have the opportunity to improve people’s lives, just a bit, probably in ways they won’t even notice, every day.”
Visit https://clairedurrant.com/ for more info.