How to Manage Stress Through Self-Care

Featuring contributions from members of the Women in CX online community.

Every month, members of the first global community designed especially for women united by our interest in advancing customer experience meet to discuss, dissect, and disentangle an issue faced by customer experience professionals. 

These roundtable discussions seek to shed light on and offer solutions to some of the most pressing problems of the sector.

This blog summarises the forum in which members discussed how to manage stress through self-care.

Where stress comes from

We all experience stress, although how it manifests and what causes it differs from person to person…

• Pressure
  
  Existing within a culture that seems to value our achievements above all else, it’s easy to evaluate our self-worth in terms of our productivity. Notice how you feel good on a productive day and bad during an unproductive one? Sometimes we have to step out of ‘productive mode’.
  
  

• The false belief that you must do it all yourself
  
  

• Wanting to ‘people-please’ (and running yourself into the ground doing so!)
  
  Saying ‘no’ isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
   
  

• Striving for absolute perfection
  
  Remind yourself that “done is better than perfect.”
  
  

• Feeling that you must prove yourself
  
  You receive a big promotion at work. This should be a time for celebration, surely? Instead, you feel as if you must prove that you’re worthy of your new role. But who are we proving this to, colleagues or ourselves? Recent statistics suggest that as female professionals, we often feel that we must work harder and go above and beyond what’s expected in the workplace.

What are the early warning signs of stress?

…and how can we recognise and act on these before we find ourselves sobbing on the kitchen floor when something doesn’t quite go to plan?

Stress, if not acted upon, can be detrimental to both our mental and physical wellbeing. Recognising the early warning signs and exercising self-care (before we reach breaking point!) can help us to combat the dreaded burnout.

For more on this, listen to episode #303 of the WiCX podcast where Clare Muscutt talks with Gita Samani about CX and Digital Transformation, Perfectionism, and Beating Burnout.

So, what are some of these early warning signs?

• Feeling emotionally exhausted
  
  We find ourselves regularly becoming irritable or impatient and snapping at others. 
  
  

• Feeling restless and anxious
  
  We’re unable to switch off or to ignore deadlines and demands. 
  
  

• Feeling lonely and isolated
  
  We may feel unable to reach out to others for help. We feel as if the burden is entirely our own.
  
  

• Struggling to sleep
  
  Stress and anxiety can make it incredibly difficult to get a good night’s sleep, and with sleep deprivation enhancing these feelings, it’s a real catch-22 situation.
  
  

• Suffering with headaches, feeling tense, and even nauseous
  
  Sometimes we recognise right away when we’re feeling stressed; other times symptoms may seem less apparent or even unrelated. It’s important that we acknowledge the physical manifestations of stress before they take a toll.

How self-care reduces stress

Critical to recognising the importance of self-care is first dismissing the perception that self-care is self-indulgent.

How we choose to practise self-care differs for each of us…

1. Take time for you.
   
   Whether you go for a walk, practise mindfulness, or even deep-condition your hair, “make a meeting with yourself.”
   
   Schedule this in as you would any appointment and remember that taking care of yourself is productive.
   
   

2. Switch off.
   
   With the pandemic blurring the lines between our personal and professional lives, it’s imperative that we set strict boundaries. This could mean ditching the laptop, turning off email notifications, and resisting the urge to work outside of office hours!
   
   That being said, switching off can be easier said than done. Consider finding an outlet that demands you be entirely within the moment (and not worrying about imminent deadlines or the mountain of laundry).
   
   

3. Prioritise.
   
   Recognise what’s ‘mission-critical’, and what can wait. Instead of drafting a lengthy to-do list, consider setting three achievable targets.
   
   

4. Focus on what you can control (and don’t waste energy on the things you cannot).
   
   According to Covey’s Circles of Concern and Influence, our ‘circle of concern’ is made up of the different concerns that we have within our lives, family, health, and finances for example.
   
   Some of these things are outside of our control and as such, Covey suggests that we should instead focus upon our ‘circle of influence’, which consists of those concerns that we can influence. So, consider which circle you spend most time within and work towards focusing on what you can control.
   
   

5. Feel good, for you!
   
   I personally quite enjoy working in my comfies, but for many of us getting dressed and putting on a little makeup makes us feel confident and ready for the day. Additionally, the act itself represents some semblance of normality as we make the short commute downstairs to the home office. Prioritising how you feel isn’t superficial.
   
   

6. Say “no” (without justification).
   
   Start saying “no” to projects (and people) that you don’t have the time or the energy for. Don’t spread yourself too thin.
   

Why self-care is important

As simple as the term itself sounds, many of us are guilty of paying little attention to self-care and instead putting our needs on the back burner. 

As highlighted above, self-care comes in a variety of forms and doesn’t have to be complex or elaborate; it can be as simple as getting outdoors for some fresh air or ignoring work emails on an evening.

Despite the stubborn perception of self-care as being indulgent, fancy, or selfish, self-care is crucial for our physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.

In summary…

Highlighting the (often overlooked!) importance of self-care and how we can exercise this to manage stress, as well as identifying common causes of stress (and how these affect our mental and physical wellbeing) and early warning signs of burnout, we’re able to act on these before we reach breaking point. There are a number of practical ways in which we can practise self-care, including saying no and setting achievable targets.

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Contributors

Thanks to WiCX community members Julie Tano-Lawson, Nicki Osborne, Natalie Pierre-Davis, and Katherine Mearman for being part of this conversation.